Social Media....It's A Devious Thing

I haven't posted much in the past few weeks, and here is why. I mostly just sit in my house and watch Netflix while I try not to die of boredom. I have been social ONCE...yes, you heard correctly. ONCE. I went to Divergent with my friend Anna (jolly good show btw). I have been experiencing a lot of fatigue lately, which may account for most of the isolation, and let me tell you, it’s HARD being alone all the time. I feel like I am isolated from the world, and once you’re in, it's A LOT harder to get back out again. I get close to making plans, and then I chicken out! I feel like it's been so long since I have hung out with someone, that I don't know how to be social anymore. Be patient world, I will be out and about in due time. In the meantime, don't get offended if plans don't end up working out. 

I get on Facebook, and I see what my friends are posting,  how many likes their Instagram picture gets, and it definitely doesn't help this emptiness I'm feeling inside....but it made me think. I watched a video recently about how Facebook is ruining our ability to make friends because it connects us with TOO many people and allows us to project a perfected version of ourselves to the world. You can control, edit, and manipulate what is posted on social media...and it isn't real. You can pose fifty different times and use the harshest filters on your profile picture, or spend hours re-editing posts. I hardly ever post anything anymore, because I just don't have anything witty or exciting enough to post. I have debated deleting my Facebook account, but have stopped myself out of fear that I will lose contact with society...permanently. The majority of my friends are serving missions, and Facebook is a good way to keep in touch with them to know when they are coming home! 

To be truthfully honest, social media makes me upset most of the time. People post things that I don’t agree with, or argue about issues that I feel strongly about, and I get really angry just reading it. I usually don’t reply (I can be rude when angry), and when I do, it leads nowhere good. The few times I have voiced my opinion online have caused me trouble. That’s another problem with social media. People are braver. I would never go up to someone and argue vocally about these issues (unless provoked), but I am more confident using social media.

Here’s the thing. I haven’t been very good at this recently, but a few weeks ago I took a little break from social media. I decided to spend my time doing other things, and you know what happened? I read books. I read my scriptures. I was semi-productive!! I started reading Shakespeare. I actually enjoyed it and UNDERSTOOD it. I have gone downhill since then, but this helped me to realize the affect that social media has over me. I was looking at everyone else’s lives and feeling sorry for myself….when really I am only seeing what they wanted me to see, and that’s not real. Life is boring sometimes. Life is hard. It’s OK.

I watched an interview recently where someone said that the people who are constantly “Tweet-ing”, “Instagram-ming”, or “Facebook-ing” how great their life is, are most likely lying, because they have enough time to sit and post about it. They are probably the ones in the corner watching everyone else have fun. Just think about that for a minute. 

5 Tips For A Better YOU

This week has been one of slow progress...but still progress. I have come to realize some things lately that have helped me to become more succesful in my goals. I wanted to share them with you.

1. DE-CLUTTER YOUR LIFE. Seriously....get rid of all of that extra baggage, literally AND figuratively. This entire week I have been packing up and getting rid of things I don't need.  Most of the reason we keep things from our past is because we want to be sentimental. Honestly....you don't need it, just take a picture! Give yourself room to start fresh. The same works for people. The past is the past...move on. Save room in your life for the people who truly matter, and stop worrying about those who don't. Wish them well, and go along your way.

2. HAVE THE RIGHT MOTIVATION. What is the reason for this sudden need for change? If its for someone else...stop. People are going to dislike you, and you are just going to have to deal with that. Is it to impress other people? That's not important either. I feel like the key to a confident person is someone who loves themself, and doesn't care what other people think. Do whatever will make YOU happy and confident. If not,  you'll spend the rest of your life trying to be what you THINK everyone else wants you to be.

3. START NOW. None of this "I'm gonna start on Monday" crap! Seriously. The sooner you start, the sooner you can reach your goal.

4. STICK WITH IT. I know it's hard, but you just need three weeks (at least I heard) to make something into a habit. Force yourself for three weeks, and then it won't be so bad. If you need to, start SLOWLY. Don't set unreasonable goals for yourself. I have made this mistake SO many times I can't even count. You just get overwhelmed so fast and that's why you quit. Don't overwhelm yourself...or you will get burned out.

5. DON'T RELY ON OTHER PEOPLE. I know it's nice to have a support system, but it really comes down to one person....you. Yes, it is nice to have people with similar goals to help you along the way, but sometimes people can bring you down. You can still have a support system, but make sure you aren't relying on them too much! I hate to say this, but...unless it's your parents, their main concern is for their own well-being. You're responsible to keep yourself on track!

So, there you have it. I have been thinking about these things a lot this week, and it has really helped me! I hope it motivates you to achieve your goals!

Update: I have succesfully finished the first five days of the BOM challenge. 1 Nephi is DANG GOOD so far....just sayin'. If you haven't started it, you should! It isn't too bad, only about 2-3 chapters every day.

Here is the link: http://www.pinterest.com/pin/447193437970077286/

My Thoughts On A Sunday

I wasn't feeling too great this morning when I woke up (at 4 am. BOO.), so I decided to stay home from church. I had a busy day yesterday and it wore me out, but today I am taking the opportunity today to share my gratitude.

This week was kind of a downer, but I decided to take all of the time I had and email some of my friends who are serving missions. It helps me not feel so lonely, I guess.

A few weeks ago, I emailed a friend from high school who is on her mission. She helped me a lot through a hard time. She was such an example to me, and was there for me at a time when I felt like no one else was. I just thanked her for being my friend! She emailed me back and gave me some of the best advice that I could have received at that time. I hadn't told her about my current struggles, but she suggested I read Mountains to Climb, a talk by Elder Eyring. If you haven't read it yet, I suggest you do.

He talks about how each trial we face in our life is to shape us into the person we need to become. It can either strengthen our faith, or destroy it. I have come to find that true in my life. I'm not saying that I have the hardest life, or that I won't go through any other hard trials, but I feel like I have had more time to realize what is truly important in my life, and grow. I realize the importance of spiritual growth in my own life.

These are a few of my favorite quotes from the talk:

"...the ground must be carefully prepared for our foundation of faith to withstand the storms that will come into every life. That solid basis for a foundation of faith is personal integrity."

"Now, I wish to encourage those who are in the midst of hard trials, who feel their faith may be fading under the onslaught of troubles. Trouble itself can be your way to strengthen and finally gain unshakable faith. "

I know that there is a plan for each of us, and tests and trials are given to us so that we will grow and become more like Him. I have come to realize the importance of sharing the gospel, and being an example. I am learning the importance of friendship and service, and know it can be used as a tool to help further Heavenly Fathers work. I know that we can use the atonement to always strive and become better, more loving, and compassionate. I know that if you pray, you will feel of His love for you. I know that He loves ALL of His children. Every. Single. One. We should strive to love them as well. We should strive to forgive everyone who has wronged us, because He will always forgive us. I know it is hard, but it is possible. 

These are all things that I am working on...and I have a long way to go. I am grateful for this trial in my life. I know it will help me to become a better person. 

I saw this video on Facebook. It is a bullying video that is going around. I thought it was a good reminder to always be considerate of others. You've probably already seen it, but here it is anyway: 

http://www.heraldextra.com/news/local/central/provo/lds-anti-bullying-video-going-viral/article_9e91f1e3-8c43-590f-bfb3-cdaf3886642c.html

I challenge you to reach out to someone who is struggling, or pray to know who is struggling. Everyone is fighting a hard battle of their own. Sometimes, we get so caught up in our own lives, and our own struggles, that we forget that others are having hard times too. 

Also, I am starting a 90-day Book of Mormon reading challenge. I know I could probably do it in less time, but I chose 90 days instead. I am starting Monday, and I found this schedule on Pinterest. If you would like to join me, feel free! We can work on becoming better, together!!

BLAH....:(

Well this week has been....blah. There is no better way to describe how I feel. I have had zero energy for the past three days. Yesterday I literally sat in my bed most of the day, except for when I made lunch at 2 pm. I had a burst of energy and had a little surprise dance party in my kitchen while making gluten free turkey wraps!

I am going to Rexburg tomorrow to pack up my stuff, so I was planning on organizing my room today a little more to make room for all of my crap. Well THAT didn't happen....I woke up with a sore throat, runny nose, and NO energy. I am getting a little worn down from all of this fatigue....not gonna lie.

When I went into the doctor last week about my lung infection, he found quite a bit of fluid in my right lung. Great. He said there was enough to remove it, but he wouldn't unless he had to (like if it got infected), and put me on extra PREDNIZONE. If you don't know what that is, you're lucky. It's every woman's worst nightmare. When I first got diagnosed with lupus, it manifested itself through arthritis pains on my entire body. My hands always looked lovely, swollen, and I couldn't straighten my right ring finger for like two weeks. It hurt, and the glorified "aleve" he gave me wasn't cutting it, so he put me on Prednizone. If you don't know what that is, it's a steroid. And although it makes you feel great, there are a lot of downsides. For one, you are ALWAYS hungry. I also get pretty strong cravings...usually for crap, and my face gets swollen. So that's fun...I can't wait to get off of it.

I am running out of indoor activities to satisfy my boredom. I never feel like putting pants on, so I have to think of things to do indoors instead, haha! Today, I took a relaxing bath and listened to some Adele. I just rediscovered her first album. It's pretty groovin'.

 My favorite songs are -Right As Rain, and Chasing Pavements. 

My puppy likes to keep me company.

I have been listening to a lot of Mindy Gledhill lately as well. I don't listen to "bubblegum" indie pop THAT often, but I needed a bit of brightness in my life. And like her album says, she "leave(s) you floating like a scoop of vanilla cream in a strawberry soda." Who doesn't want to feel like THAT? CRAAZY people! I definitely needed it. Thanks Mindy. 

My favorite songs are: All The Pennies, I Do Adore, Pocketful of Poetry.....oh heck, ALL OF THEM!

Music tends to really affect my mood-what are your favorite happy songs?? I need some new suggestions!

Also, if anyone has any fun indoor activities that they enjoy, let me know. I'm getting kinda desperate lately. 

Well, I'm gonna go...I'm hungry again. Crap. I should probably have a salad.

Creative Juices, Good Reads, and Blogging

Well, I'm sure people are wondering why I'm still not back in Rexburg....and the truth is... I dropped out of school! It was never the plan, but with my health problems, and all of the missed school, I thought it best to come home and NOT fail all of my classes. So, there you have it. I'm a college drop out *insert the music for beauty school dropout here*. You can save the apologies though, because I know this is what's best for me right now, and I am going to use this time to my advantage by strengthening my talents, learning, and growing as an individual. You don't necessarily need to go to school to do those things.

Ever since I returned home, I have felt this great desire to NOT sit around and waste my time. I am always trying to keep myself occupied, and do something useful. I am re-teaching myself piano. I am writing...A LOT. I'm reading, I'm cooking, I'm drawing. I'm trying to do anything I can to not waste away...haha. I have even formed a greater appreciation for art. I am letting the creative juices flow...I will tell you how that goes!

Also, I was on Facebook today, and I am so surprised at how many of my friends have come out as bloggers recently, so I went through and read some of their posts. It makes me proud to see that people can find joy and share it with others, because I think it's important to share positive insights on life. Blogging is a way to share new knowledge and enlightenment with others, and sometimes just to make other people smile. And...it's a stress reliever, so that's a plus.

I challenge you, if you haven't already, to start a blog. Even if no one reads it (but if you ask me to, I will. I have nothing better to do). There was a long time when no one read my blog, and it was more of a journal for me. It's not very popular now, but I have a few followers and I hope some day to have more. Anyway, I would give blogging a try.

Remember that book I ordered on Amazon? Well it arrived the day after that post, and I read it! I just want to tell you all about this AMAZING book. You all know how much I love Stephanie Nielson's blog, but did you know she wrote a book all about her experience? I did. One day, when I was trying NOT to waste my time, I decided that I wanted to read it. I was going through a hard trial in my life, and her story was such an inspiration to me, so I ordered it on Amazon. (buy it here).

Heaven Is Here is a book about Stephanie's life before, and after, her accident. It is about her challenges and trials, and how her faith and family helped her to recover. I don't know if it is because I can relate to her experience NOW more than ever in my life, but I had a great emotional connection to this book. I was literally in tears while reading most of it, but I don't want you to think that this book is just depressing. It has it's sad moments, and I can't even imagine going through something so hard, but she handled it in a way that only someone with a knowledge of Heavenly Father's plan can handle it. With faith. It is so inspiring to read how she faced her trials. I recommend you read it...really. It's on sale.

One last thing. I never post anything on Facebook anymore except for links to my blog...so if you would like to start following my blog, I would appreciate it. If not...that's fun too. Enter your email right over there ->

I hope you all have a great week! :)

I'm Missing Some People....

Well, I have come to the realization today that the next few months are going to be kind of lonely for me, which I am partly discouraged about...and also looking forward to. I think it will be a great time to work on myself. That sounds selfish, but it's not. To help others, one has to first help themself, and I want to be a servant of the Lord in my own way.

Speaking of serving the Lord, there is one thing I have been thinking about a lot lately. I miss my friends. They are awesome, and hilarious... and I miss them. SO MUCH. They are all great people who decided to go on missions. Let me introduce you to them:

THIS IS LANAE.

Lanae has been my friend since 2nd grade. She is my best friend. She is a spiritual giant. We have the best kind of relationship, because we can go months without hanging out, and it's like nothing has changed. We are hilarious, and we can make each other laugh until we cry. Other people probably look at us like we are crazy, but we could care less! We also love to sing, write songs, and play the guitar together. She is a beautiful, talented singer, and just person in general. She is currently serving the people of Argentina (speaking Spanish, I might add), and I MISS HER....so stinkin' much. :(

THIS IS ASHLEY.

I have lived down the street from Ashley since I was 3 years old. She is also my best friend. We like to speak to each other in British accents, and do embarrassing things in public. We have had our ups and downs, but she has been there for me through the years. She is one of the most amazing people I have ever met. I have always looked up to her spiritually. She has always motivated me to become better. She is serving the people of the Manchester, New Hampshire mission. She is currently serving in the state of my birth (Maine), and I miss her. A LOT. She is the most amazing missionary, and I am so proud. I always knew she would be.  

I am proud to call these two girls my best friends. There have been many friends that have come and gone in my life, but these two have stuck through all of it. I have been a little discouraged lately, because I feel like I don't have a social life, and haven't had one in a while. Then, I remember that it is better to have a few GREAT friends than a lot of crumby ones. Friends should encourage you to become better, and not discourage you. They should lift you up, and do things for you.

I have been blessed with great friends, and I need to work on being a better friend to those around me. I have been given a lot of really great experiences, and people, in my life, and I am so grateful for the chance I got to meet them. I hope to one day be as great a friend as I have had the privilege of receiving.