Life is hard. That's something I've come to know well....and sometimes it doesn't work out AT ALL the way you have planned for yourself. I've also learned that you can't choose how your life will turn out. You can make decisions, but you can't choose the consequences. I never would have imagined my life turning out like it is. I had a whole different plan for myself.
When I was younger, I thought that college would be the best time of my life. I would be living on my own, working towards a job and marriage, and just partying it up with my friends! High school was fun for a bit, but I felt disconnected from almost everyone near the end (except for a few close friends), and I was definitely ready to move on. College WAS fun for a bit, but I learned something about myself. I lacked confidence. I relied on my roommates for a social life. It was hard for me to make my own friends and I never thought I was good enough. I put other people up on pedestals, and was too afraid to stand up for myself.
I am a very closed book, and I rarely show my anger, sadness, or fear to others. I put on a happy face, and love to make people laugh! That is very hard to do all the time with five roommates! I bottled up everything I was feeling inside until I was almost ready to EXPLODE!! I was a people pleaser, which led to being taken advantage of by people I thought were friends. Let's just say college wasn't the greatest experience all around, although I did make some of the greatest memories of my life. It was a struggle, and I didn't understand why all of this was happening to me.
It wasn't until a few months ago that I figured it out. All of these problems lead to one main cause: SELF-CONFIDENCE. I wasn't confident enough in myself, and that is something that I have been working to achieve while I've been home.
This is something I am still working on, and it's something that I need to keep working on. It has been such an underlying problem throughout my life, and I know a lot of people struggle with this issue. Sometimes you see those people who just seem to have EVERYTHING. They have lots of friends, they are succesful, and you just want to BE them. Here is something I have noticed about these people: they don't dwell on what other people think about them, they laugh at their mistakes, they move on, they know what they want, and they GO for it! Everyone has their bad days, these people keep moving and don't dwell on them.
I have some advice for y'all. Be YOU. Be DIFFERENT. Make mistakes... laugh at them. Move on. Have you ever seen someone trip down the stairs? I have concluded that there are two types of people in this world. People who can laugh at themselves, and people who get super embarrassed and can't stand all of the attention. You laugh WITH the person who laughes at themself, and usually AT the person who gets embarrassed. You admire the people who have the confidence to be different and stand out, so don't be afraid to be different and stand out!
I know I need to work on this, too. I have a hard time facing my present circumstances. I'm not going to school, I'm not working, I'm not on a mission, and I'm not getting married. It seems like everyone I know is doing one of these four things. That's only normal, but I have to face my reality. I am sick. I will get better, but first, I need to heal. It is all a matter of time, I STILL HAVE WORTH.
I used to ( and still do) get so embarrassed by stupid little things, but... nobody cares. They really don't. Trust me. Just like you, they are too busy worrying about their own problems!
You may not think you are the prettiest, coolest, smartest, funniest, or most-talented person that you know, but it's all a matter of opinion! If you are confident in yourself, you won't need to be. Not everyone is going to like you, it's the harsh truth, but YOU should love yourself!! Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. The key is to focus on your strengths and not dwell on your weaknesses, because everyone has them.
When you stop caring what other people are thinking about you, you become free.
I know I sound like a motivational speaker, but I know that a lot of people struggle with this! When you have confidence in yourself, other people will see it, and YOU will feel it. You can't expect the world to have confidence in you, if you don't have confidence in yourself!
