The Beginning is Always Today

Well....I'm back, and I've come to realize something; I am very bad at keeping goals. I have had this blog for quite a few years and I always think that writing in it will become a regular thing for me, but yet I make up some excuse not to. These excuses usually sound a bit like this: "My life is too boring, I have nothing to write about!", "I don't have time for this!", or “I am not good at writing”! While these things may be true, I feel like I need to overcome some of the obstacles in my life and stick to some of the goals that I have set for myself over the years.

I really am not a very good writer (I have gotten better over the years, but I still feel very inadequate in this department). I think what I lack is inspiration. To me, inspiration comes from the desire to know and sincere thought. I don't think that I spend much of my time pondering, in fact, that is one of the MANY flaws I need to work on. I usually spend most of my time on Pinterest or listening to music, not that either of those things are necessarily bad, but I think there needs to be moderation in all aspects of your life.

I have been pondering lately (Yea I know...weird, right?), and I have noticed a high dream to action ratio in my life: meaning that I have large dreams and a small desire to do what is necessary in my life to reach them. I want to be a better Christ-like example to others , I need more humility, I want to grow in my talent of music (specifically sight reading and guitar playing), I want to improve my performing and acting abilities, and I want to become more productive and hardworking. I think I have pretty much always wanted these things, but always quit while I'm ahead in working to reach them.

I am currently sitting in a room that is an absolute DISASTER, because I haven't taken the time to clean out and choose what things need to go and which things can stay after I had to move all of my stuff back from college. I feel so chaotic sitting here in my bed that is covered in clothes, and that I never take the time to make. I need to clean it! I need to get a job! I need to do so many things in my life that it almost seems too overwhelming to handle! I have made a bucket-list of things that I want to do this summer, and among those things: I have a list of books I want to read, and I have made it a goal to become a healthier person! This all just seems such a heavy load of things, but I have made it a goal this summer to strive to become a better me, and like the title says, "The beginning is always today."

In FHE last night we talked about being worthy of the Holy Ghost, and as individuals we made goals that would allow the spirit to be a constant companion in our lives. My goals were regular night and morning prayer, daily scripture study, and a healthier sleep schedule. I have never been good about regular prayer and scripture study in my life. I go through periods where I am pretty regular about reading my scriptures, but then I also go through times when it is almost non-existent in my life. I have NEVER been good about daily personal prayer...and that is something I have always been ashamed of. I have been pretty OK with nightly prayers, but I am horrible at morning prayers! This leads to my third personal goal: a healthier sleep schedule. I think that this would be a great help to me in many aspects of my life. I stay up very late at night, and for no sensible reason. I stay up on Pinterest, or watch T.V., or I watch a Netflix movie; and I do these things until 1 or 2 am when I could be using that time to do something productive, like say my nightly prayers.  Then I wouldn't be too tired in the morning to read my scriptures and say my morning prayers! Overall, I think the achievement of these goals in my life would help me to reach all of the goals I have set for myself, including the ones that I listed above.

I feel like this post is just a bunch of word vomit that I needed to get out all at once, but I am just so desperate to make these changes in my life that I am laying down the law RIGHT NOW. I am going to work on all of these things, but to make it less overwhelming, I will do it one step at a time; starting with prayer and scripture study. Tonight, before I go to bed, I will say my nightly prayers. My family wakes up at 7 am to read scriptures together, so I will have to do personal prayer and scripture study starting at 6:30 (this will not be easy for me...I am NOT a morning person), and then I will read with my family, go to the gym, get ready, and go job hunting. I have anxiety about job applications and getting jobs. Don't ask me why, but it just all really freaks me out! I know you are thinking, "Why is she telling me this?". This is why: because I know if I tell it to someone else, I am going to be more motivated to do it because I am afraid of letting people down! I am a people pleaser; it’s in my nature :).

I would encourage each one of you to strive to become the best people that you can be. The foundation of becoming a better person is having a foundation built on Christ. He should be our ultimate goal, and when He is, everything else will fall into place. I challenge you to put Him first in your life. I know that I am always the happiest when I do, which is why I am striving so hard to achieve that foundation. I know I will become less stressed when I realize that He is there to help me reach my goals every step of the way. The hard things in life may not go away, but they will be easier to handle.