Facebook Responses

Well....I have to say, I was quite surprised by the response I got to my blog post on Facebook! I didn’t think anyone would even look at it, honestly. I hadn’t told very many people about my lupus, and it was kind of my way of saying, “Hello everyone, sorry for being so antisocial and depressed lately. I am just dealing with something really hard, so don’t take it personally.” I have been struggling so much the past couple of months that the support I got from everyone made me very emotional. No joke, I woke up on Sunday morning (having not slept very well, mind you), showed my mom some of the messages I received, and I just started sobbing! It was great. Thank you, everyone! 

I didn't sleep very well Saturday night because I was having severe chest pain, and I couldn't lie down. I was planning to return to Rexburg on Sunday, but I was exhausted and still in quite a bit of pain. I stayed home all day Sunday. I was tired. I felt sick. I was tired of feeling sick. I had a breakdown Sunday night, and I had a long talk with my parents about what the rest of the semester would entail. They made me feel so much better, and they reassured me that they would do anything to help me feel better. My parents...let me just tell you. I love those guys. They are the best people ever! They are my best friends. I don't know what I would do without them. My mom literally calls me, texts me, or checks up with me multiple times a day when I’m at school, and, when I am home, she is there to cater to my every need.  My dad is the most supportive dad, always has been, and he is always there to help reassure me. I never even have to ask for a blessing…he just gives me one.

Sunday night my dad slept on my bed, and I slept with my mom in their bed, just so she could check up on me, and believe me….she did. I had to sleep sitting straight up, and my body can’t fall asleep like that. So, mostly I just laid there all night, in pain, and ready to shoot myself. It never took her more than a few seconds after I sat up to ask me if I needed something, or if there was anything she could do. She ran a bath for me at 4:00 am. That is dedication, folks.

I called my doctor this morning and he said that I have come up with another lung infection. They are SO fun, let me tell ya! Funny story: We were playing a card game for FHE tonight, and my brother kept making me laugh. I told him not to, and I think he took it as a challenge. Plus, everyone knows it’s harder not to laugh when you are trying not to. Anyways….I won’t tell you what happened, but I started laughing. Laughing + lung infection = NOT FUN! I couldn’t stop laughing, and with every gulp of air it felt like I was being stabbed in the abdomen. I stopped laughing. I started crying. I started yelling at my brother, because he was still laughing. And then I started hyperventilating, and my mom had to come and help me relax, because I couldn’t breathe normally. I can laugh now, because I am not in any pain anymore…but for a second there, I thought I was going to die.

So this weekend has been just the greatest ever!! But, seriously though…the support I got from everyone really did lift my spirits, and helped motivate me to keep blogging. I have had this blog for quite a long time, but never with any purpose. I feel like now it has a purpose. To help lift people up, and help them to understand that no one has a perfect life, and everyone goes through crappy times. I am not afraid to share the good times as well as the crappy times, because although people like to hear about someone’s perfect life, they also like to know that they are not alone in their struggles. Struggles are a part of life. They are a way to help people grow, and learn, and have empathy for others, and to help others, and know how to help them. I hope that this blog will be a way to help some people know that they are not alone.